Dear Diary
by Magna Parva
Summary: A mediocre beginning for someone as illustrious as I, but it shall have to suffice. A GIRL, of all things, has joined us at the Palace to become a knight! ::Neal's perspective on life around Kel:: Read and Review!
1. A Mediocre Beginning

**Dear Diary,**

A mediocre beginning for someone as illustrious as I, but it shall have to suffice. This shall be the transcript of my life from this day forward, recording a momentous journey through time. One may choose to call me pompous, but I would declare them a mere fruit, jealous and uneducated in the ways of a University student.

Why do I write in this journal? Well, I have finally persuaded Father to allow me to become a knight. I shall enter the training in a few weeks' time, and I fear that he shall spend those weeks hounding me to change my decision before it is too late. But I am determined; my mind is set. In fact, has been ever since Graeme and Andrew were killed, dare I say. I shall drop out of University, cease my training to become a Healer, and just hope that the Gods are with me on this.

--

Dear Diary,

I have just had the most extraordinary day. A _girl_, of all things, has joined us at the Palace to become a knight! No doubt she must have ruffled the Stump's feathers; after all, although it has been ten years since girls were legally allowed to become Pages, no-one before her actually did step forward. Sadly, the Stump has placed her on probation for the year, which I feel is highly unfair and chauvinist in character. Whatever happened to freedom, justice and equality for all? Or is that an age which has yet to come for Tortall? I admire her bravery – she must have bagfuls of it to voluntarily lead such a hard life.

Nevertheless, despite people's objections, she has persevered and lasted the day. Odd thing was, she turned at the Palace up with a black eye. I do hope she won't be _too_ troublesome, for I am now going to be judged now just for my conduct, but hers also. I do not know what compelled me to do it, but I have become her Page sponsor. Still, she seems like a good lass, if a little reserved. Nothing I can't handle!

--

Dear Diary,

Oh, Mithros. She is Trouble. Trouble, with a capital 'T'. But I can't help but be swayed by that infuriating logic of hers which I couldn't find fault with. Oh, I think I shall turn insane before it is my time... she has declared war on the ponce and his followers, and we've now all been roped in so that we can keep her out of trouble! Even the Prince has turned a blind eye to her actions. I suppose it is the least he can do, as he is unable to interfere in our 'extra-curricular activities' without stirring problems.

She reminds me of my sister, Jessamine. They are the same age, give or take a few months, and dare I say, of similar temperament. I wonder what Dom thinks of her... I spotted him amongst the crowd the other day, watching her atop her horse. Father has already taken a shine to her, but then he also seems to believe that her masochistic streak is a result of her association with me! I have never been so insulted in my life! Perhaps I do have a sharp tongue which I ought to keep in check, but I can't help it if the Stump's practically dressing me up like the dog's dinner.

_I _think he just despises me for being able to stand out. Yes, so I joined his motley bunch at the age of fifteen. There have been older Pages before in history, is it not true? Ah, Keladry and I shall get on fabulously. We are alike, two misfits against the world! Does that not sound grand?

--

Dear Diary,

That horse of hers is vile! It is just as well that someone saw fit to make it a gelding when possible; oh, I shudder to think what fates future generations would have suffered if that blasted '_Peachblossom_' had remained a stallion! Honestly, of all the names to give a beast like that, you'd think people would _try_ to come up with something more ferocious and less deceiving! And what did she do when it bit me yet again?! Laugh. Yes, laugh.

Oh well. Thank the Gods for Daine and Stefan. At least we have been blessed with some smaller mercies.

--

Dear Diary,

The ponce and his brainless sycophants are getting worse by the day with their attempts to have her thrown out. On the other hand, Dom sent me a marvellous book filled with instructions on how to get revenge without being caught. I knew he was good for something! Now, which to choose...

--

Dear Diary,

A whole year has passed almost inconspicuously. Time has a way of sneaking up on us... or does it just seem that way because we are aging? Who knows?

As I was saying, a whole year has passed, and she is still here, fighting her corner as always. I really do admire her. Now we just have to wait until after the summer camping trip to find out what the Stump has decided for her future. Mithros, I almost feel as though it is _me_ who is up for the execution block; I'm just so nervous for her! If she doesn't stay though, I just hope she doesn't lose heart. Someone with as much spirit as her can achieve greatness no matter which route they take – she just needs to be able to realise that. For her sake, I hope all goes well.

Now, what am I supposed to pack for the trip? Hm... I think I'll ask Father.

--

Dear Diary,

The Stump has a heart! Who would've known? She can stay! Just as well; I don't think the Lioness or the Giantkiller would have been best pleased if he had refused her at this stage. She has already proven to us all a thousand times over just how worthy she is.

Oh, Mithros. I just realised... if she stays, then she'll be keeping that ruddy horse! Gah, the Gods must dislike me or something...

Still, must go and celebrate! I have to tell Father! And write to Dom!

- Neal

* * *

**Erm... it's not much, but it's still written with love. I absolutely adore Neal, and I wanted to have his voice heard, even if it did revolve around her. **

**Whether or not I continue with this theme is entirely up to you. I would like to expand, but I need your feedback first, so don't forget to review!**

**- Khadeejah: 18/06/2009**


	2. Back Again

**Dear Diary,**

Yes, I am back for another year here at the Palace, about to commence with my second year as a Page. Oddly enough, the vulgarity of my situation has seemed to decrease in Father's eyes; his badgering for me to return to my Healer studies have declined in the past weeks. Dare I hope? ... Nay, I think not; 'tis merely the calm before the storm. Poor Father... what a shock he shall receive when he realises that I truly am in earnest about following through with this plan of mine. But does he not understand that I am only adhering to the long-held tradition of always having at least one Queenscove serving the Crown as a knight? No matter. He will soon.

She is back too, just like I knew she would be. I must say I rather missed her over the summer... but at the same time, it was refreshing not too be surrounded by the madness that seems to take us all over whenever she is with us. I have no idea what it is about her, but... she has a way of engaging with people, and connecting so well. It must be because her father is a diplomat. Yes, that is it.

And now she has a dog! A dog! Mithros, if the Stump catches her with the pet, I don't know what the punishment will be – probably even more torturous climbing up to tall heights like he forced her to do all last year as well. Inhumane, I tell you. Utterly inhumane. I scoff at whoever said tackling your fears head on is the best way of overcoming them. They have clearly never seen her face after she climbs back down.

--

Dear Diary,

She just attracts strays, I tell you. Just can't keep away. But right now, I wouldn't criticise her. Her new maid, the niece of a Palace servant, was abused. I wouldn't be if it was even a frequent, almost _natural_ event; such is life for a pretty, yet poor, commoner girl like her. Poor thing is terrified merely by my presence! I think she was raped, yet I won't know for sure without asking. But how is one to ask, without running the risk of scaring her off? Maybe I ought to ask Father to run a check on her discreetly... most people seem to relax around him, even abuse victims. I envy that; it's an admirable trait.

--

Dear Diary,

Life has become dull and dreary once again. It is at moments such as these that I almost begin to find myself agreeing with Father's wishes for me to return to University. I would certainly escape the Stump and his continuous barking of orders.

...

Ok, that was uncalled for. I take it back. In all likeliness, the fight wouldn't have happened if I hadn't retaliated in her defence. But I just couldn't help it! The ponce and his curs were attacking her reputation – was I, her closest friend and confidant, supposed to just act ignorant? They were asking for trouble; if they hadn't realised yet how important she is to her friends, they should have by now.

All the same, all of those involved in the skirmish have been set punishment work to do, including her. I swear the Stump is revelling in this! His only saving grace at the moment is that she isn't being worked as hard as I had feared; no climbing heights for her this time! Instead, we're being forced to set to right any damage inflicted to the infrastructure of the stables. Pah! As if a mere bunch of, albeit very unruly, boys could possibly have caused such a level of destruction.

Mithros, that girl will be the death of us all one day! Her naivety is amusing at times, but right now I could very happily throttle her. When will it occur to her that just because a certain set of values and traditions exist in one place, it does not immediately infer that people elsewhere will be so accommodating! Yes, my insult today was juvenile, and were it addressed to anyone else other than the ponce, I would most likely have apologised by now. But while I refuse to yield, I will venture no further on this subject. It is clear now that the topic is a sore one for my dear friend, so I shall remain quiet on from this day forth out of respect for her – even still, it doesn't stop him being a ponce.

All the same, it truly was worth the bother, despite the scolding she gave me for the remark later. What can I say? She's still young; she has time to learn the ways of the Court. Then she'll understand.

--

Dear Diary,

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate having to retract a statement? It is amazing just HOW much work is needed in the upkeep of a stable. Yes, just for clarification, we caused an awful lot of damage. Stefan was furious. The horses were evil. I don't blame them.

Father's upset. For her, that is. He found out about the whole debacle through the gossip vines. Well, at least it just goes to show that the Stump has a sense of honour. He didn't snitch on us, which is something I can at least respect him for.

--

Dear Diary,

Midwinter has finally arrived, and the second year Pages are all expected to serve. Oh, joy. I would much rather be nursing my sorrows with a bottle of Father's finest mead. The lady I desire loves another, and tonight I shall be subjected to the pain of being able to look, but not touch. Woe is me...

--

Dear Diary,

The ponce is really overdoing it now! Gah! If he doesn't stop, and _soon_, I cannot be held responsible for my actions. He and his minions are going too far; if they have a problem with a girl becoming a knight, fine! Many a person still do, in this day and age, so it is not wholly unexpected. But to ruin one of the finest social events of the year, and to do it while she is unable to strike back! The audacity of it all just leaves me speechless, and we _all _know how much of an accomplishment that is. I'm just so unbelievably _furious_ at the stunts that they pulled last night, I can't even begin to express my ire!

Believe me, this isn't over. They. Will. Pay. The boys and I will see to it.

--

Dear Diary,

More punishment work. I shall kill that ponce if it is the last thing I ever do.

--

Dear Diary,

It seems she has a crush on me! Oh, how delightfully amusing! No, of course, I do not intend on encouraging her; oh, believe you me, that would not do. Maybe in the future, if she is unattached, I may entertain the notion. Who knows? But right now, she is far too much like Jessamine for me to attempt such a thing. I have more honour than that. Still, to watch her try and conceal her attraction to me is just bordering on hilarious – we've been in an ideal position to kiss _at least_ fifteen times now since I began to realise why she was acting so odd around me, yet she has still to make a move.

Anyway, she is a sweet girl; whoever catches her will be a lucky man. Or woman... it's hard to tell. Come to think of it, I do believe a certain red-headed squire has recently begun to take an interest in her. I think he'll be good for her... he's got enough romance in his bones to show her what being in love feels like. All the same... he hurts her, he dies.

--

Dear Diary,

I've just found out from Father why exactly her role-model is refusing to return to the Palace. Now how am I supposed to break it to her? While I know it would be somewhat of a relief to know that the Lioness is not angry because of _her_, I also know that it could cause a possible rift in the loyalty she currently feels for the Crown. Do not ask _how _I know this. I just do. Nor do I wish to isolate our friend, the Prince. He cannot be held accountable for his father's mistakes, but I fear he will not see it as such. What do I do?

--

Dear Diary,

Well, her quest against the ponce and his lackeys is over. I say _her_ quest, because the boys and I know better. Just because they have finally become squires, doesn't mean they are any more mature and intelligent than before. And if they try anything now, we'll be ready, waiting.

--

Dear Diary,

What is the ponce playing at?! I know he's up to something; people like him do not change overnight as he is trying to suggest. As I said before, the boys and I shall be watching him. We can tell he's planning something; it's practically written in his eyes, the amount of malevolence present when she's not paying attention. Her naivety will be her downfall if she doesn't heed our words of caution. People like him are _always_ trouble.

--

Dear Diary,

Mithros, that girl has a commanding streak in her! The bandits certainly gave us all a scare, but she responded beautifully, rising almost immediately to the challenge. She was terrified, but she definitely managed to hide it well enough. Just as well. Others of us froze on the spot – not that I blame anyone, of course. After all, I'm hardly brilliant at commanding either.

I think today was a testament to the skills which she possesses and which others have so often mocked before. Even the Stump was impressed, which everyone knows is an amazing achievement in itself. I wouldn't be surprised if the Giantkiller was to snatch her up as his squire the minute she passes the fourth-year exams. After all, he _is_ one of the greatest commanders in all of Tortall. She would blossom very well under his guidance.

--

Dear Diary,

That _boy_ is obscene! I understand that without a mother, children are less likely to flourish and develop as well as they might otherwise, but honestly! Commenting on her... recent growth! Really, does it not occur to him that a gentlemen, a person of _good sense_, would know not to do such a thing?

He is lucky he is still young, for I fear had he been any older or wiser, either she or I would have taken him and his "jolliness" to task on the practice courts. I am not as terrible with weaponry as I would have my friends believe; I certainly know a few tricks – albeit ones that require the use of my Gift – that would have many men on their knees begging.

--

Dear Diary,

I found out today, and _not_ through the gossip vines, that the ponce's right hand man tried to force himself onto her maid. Why have they not yet reported him to the Goddess' temple? Do they not realise that social standing is nothing when compared to the ruination which a person such as him could visit on someone? Yet I am unable to speak up, for fear of humiliating both her, and her maid. She didn't come to me with this information – I had to work it out myself.

What do I do now? Go to Father about it? The Stump? The temple? My word would be useless if the maid refused to speak up. I don't know what I am supposed to do now. Maybe I ought to stay silent. May the Goddess forgive me, but I truly am torn. I shall have to stay silent.

--

Dear Diary,

I knew it. I _knew _the ponce would try something like this! I can't prove it, but I _know _it was him! It's that gut instinct that just won't go away. Who else would play on her acrophobia?

Maybe I ought to say what happened. To cut a long story short, her dog and her maid were kidnapped, and then hidden away on Balor's Needle. And as a result she had to miss the fourth-year exams because she was too busy searching for them. Now it is up to the Lord Magistrate to decide whether or not she will still be allowed to take them. For both her sake and mine, I just hope his decision is a good one. I don't know what I'll do without my best friend to help me through the squire years.

--

Dear Diary,

We're all squires! Yes, I said _all_! The Lord Magistrate ruled in her favour, citing that it was clearly a malicious attempt at sabotage. And what do you know? She passed the exams with flying colours! At least half the Court turned up; I think many of them were secretly hoping for her to stuff up just so they could sniff in disdain, and then claim that they knew all along it was a bad idea to allow a _girl_ into Pages' training. She sure showed them. And I'm proud to know her.

Now, I ought to be off! Father's invited her and her parents to a celebratory dinner, and I'm supposed to bathe before meeting them. Might as well make the most of it; it seems he's finally coming round to the idea of having another knight for a son!

- Neal

p.s. WHO BOUGHT HER THAT BLASTED HORSE?!

* * *

**Thank you to my wonderful readers. I updated! Much love goes to xxTunstall Chickxx for helping with the chronology of the events.**

**What do you think? How should I write the Squire years? Review!**

**- Khadeejah: 25/06/2009**


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